I am learning one of life’s toughest lessons to grasp is the fact that I am insignificant. It is difficult to be at peace with my lack of importance despite the fact that it is my unimportance which enables me to live life to the fullest. There is nothing tangible that is contingent on my existence, yet I have the ability to influence beyond my own means. And so it is my only responsibility to walk with God and know Him fully.
I have this crude belief that I can’t seem to shake where my only life’s requirements are to “believe in God,” “Be a good person,” and “Let God do the rest.”
But there is no abandonment in these behaviors, no raw faith.
So, when life doesn’t deliver me a comfortably productive Christianity, I am left doubting and frustrated. I suffer a disgruntled relationship with what I believe to be an uninterested and uncaring God. When life doesn’t work out the way I expect it to I feel mislead and betrayed. God is a preoccupied father, married to His job, not paying attention, and far off.
When I am gripped with my own worthlessness, however, then my life’s outcome has no dominion or rule in the temporal production of circumstances. Regardless, if I am unsuccessful in ministry – do I know Him? It doesn’t matter if I win a thousand converts – do I know Him? Whether or not I am rich in friendship or blessed with deep knowledge – do I know Him? My life’s value is not determined by the product of my obedience but in the measure of how much I know Him. My only real value is found in Him. God IS infinite worth and that is all that matters!
So it is that most of my disbelief and faulty ideas about a holy God are altered by my own selfishness to produce godliness on my own. My efforts are often to bring sacrifice before surrender, and that is not what God desires.
I have to learn to let go of my own worth. I have to learn that I am insignificant. Nothing I do can add to my status or significance because significance is only for God. Value is reserved for Him. There is freedom when I grasp my unimportance because I am no longer burdened with producing my own righteousness and sense of value.
Tags: Christianity, Faith, Fatherhood, humility, Religion
